ARTICLES ABOUT Peggy
SPEAKER MAGAZINE November 2009
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Tap into your "inner bigness" to achieve
personal happiness and professional success.
By Tim Hyland
Peggy O'Neill remembers the conversation like it was yesterday. About 10 years ago, O'Neill was still a relative newbie to the speaking circuit and trying to figure out the nuances of the business—how to find jobs, market herself and connect with her audiences. She thought she was doing a pretty good job of it, too. She was scheduling bookings and everyone seemed to enjoy her appearances, during which she conveyed the message that "inside every challenge lies a gift."
It was a message rooted in the unique challenges O'Neill had faced as a "little person" standing just 3 feet, 8 inches tall: the cruel stares from strangers, the ongoing battle to be taken seriously as a professional, the daily grind of simply getting things done in a world that wasn't built for her.
O'Neill thought her message was poignant, touching and universal.
A wake-up call
"I was talking a lot about my own life back then," O'Neill says. "But after I had just finished a speech one day, my marketing assistant asked, 'Frankly, who cares? Who cares that you can't drive a rental car? Who cares that you can't look everyone in the eye? I mean, really, who cares?'"
It wasn't exactly the response O'Neill was hoping for, but she knew her assistant had a point. She was focusing too much on herself, and not enough on her audience. So she went back to the drawing board to find a more compelling and effective message for her keynotes.
Today, O'Neill is one of the most popular speakers in the business, and her message of "inner bigness"—the idea that each of us has greatness inside, and living with "big character" can deliver big success has inspired audiences nationwide. She has spoken for Chase, British Petroleum,
Boeing and Washington Mutual, federal agencies, including the Environmental Protection Agency and the Federal Emergency Management Agency, and numerous non-profits and school groups.
She's authored two books (including an award-winning children's book, Little Squarehead) and was among the speakers featured in the self-help film, The Opus Movie. In 2008, she was named winner of the Connie Contest for speaker excellence by the Greater Los Angeles Chapter of the National
Speakers Association.
By all measures, O'Neill's speaking business today is a smashing success.
But the success didn't come easily, and wouldn't have been possible unless O'Neill overcame two major challenges. First, in the wake of that awkward
post-speech conversation— "Who cares?"— O'Neill needed to communicate her unique challenges in a way that was universally relevant and helpful to others. Second, and more important, after battling feelings of self-doubt and unworthiness for years, she had to finally confront—and accept— who she is.
The discovery of her own "inner bigness" was the pivotal moment in her personal and professional life. When she speaks to her audiences today, she tells them the same kind of personal enlightenment is possible for them, too. After all, she's living proof that even the smallest of us can "walk tall." "The thesis of my keynote is that size matters—but that the size of what's inside matters most," says O'Neill, who lives in Woodland Hills, Calif. "My whole emphasis is on helping people realize their innate greatness, and that inner size is a choice. There are many things in life we can't control, like the stock market, who's in our family, the weather, or our height. But one paramount factor in life that we can control is our inner size. We get to choose to embody 'inner smallness' or 'inner bigness.'"
Diamond in the Rough
Of course, making that choice is easier said than done. If anyone knows that, it's O'Neill.
Her story of overcoming challenges holds valuable life lessons for everyone, including emerging speakers who are struggling to achieve success.
"Believe me, it's been a phenomenal amount of inner work for me to overcome everything," O'Neill admits. "I had to deal with a lot from my own critical voice. I had to turn a lot of challenges into gifts."
For most of her life, O'Neill struggled with her short stature and the way she was treated because of it. She faced prejudice and ignorance, and even downright nastiness. All of that negativity eventually took a heavy toll.
The curtain lifted when O'Neill experienced a turning point after doing some cathartic work. As she lay back on her pillows and closed her eyes, she saw a brilliant diamond. In this transformative moment, she realized that she is a precious gem that had been hidden by anger, frustration and disappointment.
"This understanding of my true self was more real that my everyday identity," O'Neill says. "I decided that from that moment on, no matter what challenges were thrown in front of me, my job in life is to live as a diamond in a place of real value. That meditation has been the
focus of my work for the past several years."
O'Neill says her success would never have been possible without discovering her "diamond" self, the name she's given to the beautiful, confident, empowered self that was always inside her, locked away by doubt and fear.
When she speaks to her audiences today, she assures them that there is a "diamond" inside them as well. They just need to discover it and live from that place of inner magnificence. That's her request of audience members, her call to action.
A Leadership Quality
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa are among the most respected, accomplished, beloved and admired figures in history—and
they all share one common trait, O'Neill says. It's not physical size or brute strength. After all, Mother Teresa stood less than 5 feet, and FDR was crippled by polio.
Great leaders have inner bigness in common, according to O'Neill, who aspires to achieve it and asks her audiences to do the same. In the speaking industry, for example, NSA members continue to uphold the legacy of founder Cavett Robert, CSP, CPAE.
"Those people exhibit behaviors and qualities of greatness," O'Neill says. "They have integrity and fortitude—the ability to work through challenges and also be formed by them. They have honesty, sincerity, generosity compassion and wisdom. When I talk about inner bigness, I am talking about the idea that every person has the capacity to unveil these qualities within themselves."
She gets her audiences to believe it, too, through her unique speaking style—and by leveraging her short stature. When O'Neill speaks, there's some humor. Some tears, too. O'Neill cannot hide who she is. But while her coming-of-age stories ultimately revolve around her stature, the lessons derived from those experiences can apply to anyone.
"When I take the stage, the first thing I say is, 'Size matters,'" O'Neill says. "And you know what? The audience immediately laughs. They know I have a sense of humor about my size, and it brings some lightheartedness to a situation that maybe is weighing heavily on them. Next, I try to emphasize the congruency between how I am on the inside and what I'm saying on the outside. If I'm talking about 'inner bigness' but feel afraid,
people would pick up on that. They wouldn't respond to me."
In a sense, O'Neill uses herself as a metaphor for her message about overcoming challenges, defeating self-doubt, increasing self-esteem and discovering and accepting one's inherent beauty.
The formula hits home with school children and CEOs alike because her audiences know she really lives her message. She may be a successful speaker but, at the end of the day, she's still a little person. The same challenges she's faced her whole life are the same challenges she'll face for the rest of her life.
"My biggest challenge is my biggest perk. I try to get people to re-think the way they view little people. Many wonder what a little person can teach them. Overcoming that condescension has been an ongoing challenge for me."
Walk Tall in Tough Times
The faltering economy hasn't been good for anyone. Not the folks on Wall Street, nor the folks on Main Street—and certainly not for speakers.
While O'Neill understands that speakers would prefer to be working, downtime provides opportunities to work on their inner bigness. You can start by asking:
How is this downturn helping me learn and grow?
What quality can I develop by working through this challenge?
Can I hone my speaking and marketing skills?
Do I have compassion for others who are also struggling?
Speakers can achieve inner bigness by answering these questions and accepting challenges, even when times are tough.
"People are inspired by people with big character," O'Neill says."They want to be like them and be around them. Inner bigness increases your power of attraction."
Tim Hyland has been a professional writer for more than a decade. His work has appeared in numerous publications, including Fast Company, Philadelphia City Paper and Philadelphia Life. Hyland lives in Flourtown, Pa., and can be reached at
November 2009 | SPEAKER | 19
